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2 Months of Little Man

Josh's 9 week photo. Sleeping off his shots.

Life's road has proven a bit bumpy lately, but we are getting through. Obviously I've neglected this since Josh will be 3 months old in 11 days and I haven't posted the two month update. Sigh. It's hard to type with one hand with Josh and when I don't have him, there is just so much else I need to do. I did want to put up a few precious photos.


They must have had a hard day LOL, they are zonked!

When all my co-workers went back for the first day of school, this is what I was doing :) I am so grateful that I am able to stay home with him till he is 6 months old. Just praying that I will still have a job next school year.

This makes me laugh. I didn't notice when I took the picture (I just wanted to take it to show my mom he was wearing an outfit she got him), but it looks like he is trying to pose like the monkey on his shirt!

Josh in his pumpkin hat I made :) He really does like it, can't you tell!

Today is October 15, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Whether the world sees it or not I have 2 children, just one lives in heaven. I remember Alex today.

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One Month of Joshua

Well it's been quite a month! This is the first time I have really been on the computer since the last time I posted except for paying bills. Otherwise I check my email and facebook from my phone and that's it for the internet!

When Josh was just short of 2 weeks old we had newborn pictures taken of him (the one at the top and this one below) They came out absolutely beautiful thanks to Walt and Ruth Homan.

When Joshua was 3 week old his grandparents came to visit from Arizona. They were excited to see him. All the pictures from that are on Doug's camera, as well as the pictures of JD meeting his great grandmom Grace (who is 90 years old). That camera gets uploaded to the good computer and I'm not sure where Doug keeps the cord so none of those pictures are on here.

Doug's parents stayed for a week, and when they left we were expecting a hurricane...but before the hurricane came, we were shocked with an earthquake! I have to say my house has still not recovered from this deadly trio! O well, there are more important things than having a clean house right now, right? The earthquake really shocked me. I had Joshua laying on the bed so I could get changed (I usually don't get to take a shower till 1 in the afternoon...neither of us are morning people, all he wants to do is eat and all I want to do is sleep LOL). At first I thought I was woozy since I hadn't eaten that day, but then I saw the pulls on Doug's dresser swinging back and forth. I scooped up JD as quickly as I could and hurried to get in a doorway. Then we camped out in the living room during the hurricane. As you can se Josh was ready to take on Irene! (don't mind my foot coming out of his head Haha)

Being a mother is amazing. It's unreal how much I love him.

There were some things I expected:

• Dirty Diapers--We are doing mostly cloth now but forced to used disposables on laundry days because he doesn't fit into a bunch of his diapers.


• Crying


• Sleep Deprivation


• Breastfeeding- after advice from my mom and other friends as well as reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, it came pretty naturally to both of us. I'm so glad I can do this for him because of all the amazing benefits! I won't lie though, sometime I do wish Doug could take over just once in a while LOL! I love the faces he makes when he's trying to get latched and the smile the creeps up when he is finished. I also found out at my last doctor visit that its a good idea to breastfeed while they get their shots. The NP told me that studies show babies who are breastfed while they get their shots react better to shots, both in dealing with the injection pain and they experience fewer side-effects.

And some things I didn't expect

• Missing pregnancy-it was easier to take care of him then. I also miss feeling him on the inside. I was ready to be done, but now JD is exposed to the world and its much harder to protect him on the outside! It was also easier to get things done!


• Having such a teeny baby! I thought he'd be at least 7lbs. I followed mom's advice and only bought 3 newborn outfits. At my shower I was given a pack of newborn onsies (printed ones so they're like shirts not undershirts). Well here we are at 5 weeks and he is still wearing newborn (I had to go out and buy more). I've put him in a couple 0-3 but they are still pretty roomy, though some NB is getting tight so we have to start the transition, actually more are getting short, lengthwise he is only 1/2 an inch away from size 3-6, but his waist would never hold them up! .


• Cosleeping- I read a little bit about it before Joshua was born, but did not think it was for me. I had the bassinet and the crib all ready to go. Joshua likes to wake up when I put him down, and finally when I was nursing him one night we fell asleep together, and he slept peacefully for hours! Turns out babies sleep better with their mother because it keeps them warm (Josh loved kicking his covers off then waiting because he was cold... and he HATED the sleep sacks) and they use mom's heartbeat and breathing to regulate their own. In fact, countries where it is common to co-sleep have a much lower rate of SIDS. He will eventually need to sleep in his own space, but for now we'll go for it.


• Being the go-to-girlfriend- I'm not sure how this happened, but I have two friends that had babies recently, one a month before Joshua and one a day after and whenever they have a problem I get a text. I am not sure how this worked out. I mostly ask my mom when I have a problem...and sometimes I ask her about their issues too. I'm far from an expert but I try to help if I can.


• Baby Acne- I really wish there was something I could do to clear it up faster...I think he's beautiful no matter what!


• Wearing my baby- Yep I ended up buying a sling...something I did not think was for me, but within the first two weeks I realized how useful it would be and ordered one. In fact now that I can get him in and out of the carseat easily, I prefer it to the stroller for short trips.


• Criticism- Yes we all know moms are critical of each other...but I just hadn't thought about it. One day Doug went to work tired and everyone seemed to be able to tell him what I was doing wrong. Of course I can defend my choices because if you know me you know I will read a lot about something I am interested in, and parenting decisions are the most important ones I will ever make. So we've been told not to pick up Josh every time he cries. According to the research that's bad advice. Babies who are responded to immediately have a higher level of self confidence and independence in later years and cry less after the first few months than babies who are left to cry it out. At this age babies only cry because they have a biological need (which includes missing their mother since moms provide warmth and help them regulate their systems). Babies who are touched and carried frequently are more intelligent than babies who are left alone. Also some people think I need to get him on a schedule which is also poor advice according to research AND my doctor! I am feeding on demand, whenever he wants it, usually every two hours during the day and between 3-5 at night. Schedules are not for newborns, especially breastfed ones. This goes along with the crying, when baby is responded to faster, it will lead to a better future for both of us. My doctor said at our last visit that the first three months of a newborns life should be thought of like a fourth trimester of pregnancy, the baby needs to be held, fed, and loved, not trained. I'd also like to add that the doctor said I was doing a great job. Just needed to unruffle my feathers ;)


• hey did you know I have cats? I have been neglectful of them since Joshua came along.

I took Joshua for his one month appointment on Friday. He was 8lb 1ooz, and 22.5 inches long which puts him in the 25% for weight (same % as he was at birth) and the 75% for length (moved up a bit here). Here's his picture from that day.

And here's a little video from when he was 4 weeks. He's starting to following objects. I did not do a great job videotaping it, but I figured I'd include it anyway.

Bringing Home Joshua

So here we are, home sweet home. We brought Joshua home on July 28. All the last checks by the doctor came back great. In fact his bilirubin levels were so low (1.8) the doctor didn't even order a third test. Speaking of the doctor, we are going to the same office I went to as a child. It was neat to see the same doctors who took care of me taking care of my son. Dr. Coant and Dr. Minuetello (yeah I don't think I spelled that right) both checked on Joshua. Dr. M gave him the ok to go home. My mom was in the room when he was there and he gave her a hug. We got him dressed and into his car seat. Don't you just love that hat!!
My mom only lives a few blocks from the hospital so Doug parked my car (since it's the one with the car seat) there before coming to sleep at the hospital. So my mom picked us up and drove us home.

At home, I took him out of his seat and walked him back to show him his room. I sat down in my rocking chair and began sobbing. I hadn't realized this whole time I never truly believed I would be bringing a baby home to live in that room. It was a collection of dreams but I didn't allow myself to believe they would become reality. But there he was in my arms, safe, sound, and alive! I was crying tears of joy. I stroked his back, the same back I'd been feeling on my left side all this time, I was finally seeing it on the outside (and right side up). What a relief! I thought of Alex and what I'd missed out on with him, but then there could be no Joshua. It was the end of my journey. The end of the fear I would never have children. He is here and he is perfect and he is home!

My dream come true all bundled up for his first nap in his crib.

Joshua Douglas's Birth

Well my due date came and went uneventfully. I went to RV to do curriculum work, cleaned, ate Chic-Fil-A for dinner, and baked chocolate chip cookies. I think I did some laundry too. Doug worked on his final paper, while he did that I did some little exercises on my yoga ball. We settled into bed and put on The Wonder Years. Doug asked Joshua for one more day to work on his school work so it would all be done before he came. As we drifted off to sleep I felt a few contractions, I didn't think it was anything since I'd been having plenty of them here and then, I especially didn't want to say anything to make Doug worry without reason.

At 4:45 I woke up and felt my PJs were wet. I went to the bathroom and fluid just gushed. So ok my water broke. I told Doug, then I got in the shower. At this point there was a catch 22. Dr. Mack said if I wasn't getting an epidural I should stay home as long as possible, but because I am Strep B positive, once my water breaks I need to be on antibiotics to protect the baby. I decided not to call till 7 or 8. So Doug is all worried for 2 reasons, he wants me to be at the hospital in time, and secondly he needs me to edit his paper. So guess what I do before I call the doc? That's right, I went up and worked on his paper for an hour and a half (It was a 24 page paper that needed to be cut down to 18 pages).

I see my nervous husband, so I ask him if he would feel better if I called the doctor and we headed to the hospital. He said yes, so I acquiesced. It was 7 when I called so I got the answering service. Dr. C. called me back and said to head on to the hospital. I told her I am not interested in an epidural and not in too much pain, so she said I could wait a little but be there by 8:30.

Last shot with Joshua on the inside.

We met my mom at the main entrance of the hospital and they got me up to maternity triage, where the most annoying nurse in the world examined me to make sure it was my water that broke. The nurse put in my IV line and hooked me up to the monitor. At this point I was not in true labor and only 2 centimeters dialated.

We settled into our room and nurse Joan came by with the Pitocin and Antibiotics. I knew I would be getting anti-biotics, but I did not want the Pitocin. During our childbirth classes and from some other resources I read, we decided it would be best for me and Joshua if we did everything we could to have a natural birth. Only about 1 in 10 women do that, but I was willing to endure some pain for the safe delivery and health of our son. I'll avoid my soap box for a minute but this video clip sums up our reasons for natural birth...you could also add that moms recover faster from going naturally and babies breastfeed better and are less likely to have jaundice. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fPauJEy7fc&NR=1 **hopefully this works now

The nurse told the doctor I wanted to discuss the Pitocin before she started it. Dr. DiJoseph came in and explained why medically Pitocin was recommended. We didn't want the baby in there too long with my water broken because of exposure to infection, and being that I was a first time mom and not in true labor, there's no telling how long my labor would be. I explained that I wanted a natural birth and the ability to move around (not be strapped to a bed), no epidural and no pitocin if it could be helped, but I also want to keep my baby safe. At this point my mom jumped in....let's just say she's getting friskier as she gets older. She explained her labor and how walking helped, the doctor said that's not medically proven. Finally I asked if he had seen other women deliver with pitocin but no epidural. He said a few but he doesn't like to see it because they are in soooo much pain. I asked to walk for an hour and see if I made progress, if I didn't we could reconsider the pitocin. He said you're the patient, you're the boss.

At this point I was a little upset and my blood pressure spiked. They make me take a pee test for Preeclampsia. It was negative of course.

The hospital was very busy that day so I got more than an hour of walking in. I believe we had that discussion with the doctor around 10:30. They made me go back to the bed once an hour for 20 minutes to monitor the baby and my contractions. Joshua's heartbeat stayed consistently between 135 and 140. My contractions were getting more regular. The doctor finally checked me again at 4. Because of the Strep B, they check my cervix as little as possible. At 4PM Dr. DiJoseph checked and I was 4 centimeters dialated. He looked at my mom and told her he would eat humble pie. He said maybe we would have a baby by midnight.

I continued to walk, but now just in my room. When I had a strong contraction I got Doug to massage my lower back which helped immensely. I am guessing around 5 PM I got in bed and didn't get up again till after Joshua was born. The contraction were coming closer together. I can't tell you how close because I kept my eyes shut to help me focus. There were a few techniques I used to overcome the pain. There was a relaxation method from the childbirth class we had where with each breath you imagine a cloud descending over your body relaxing portions at a time. I repeated to myself in my head until the very worst part when I started saying it aloud "This is only temporary." I reminded myself the pain would let up. I also meditated on some Bible verses. Hebrews 12: 1b-2 Let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. I learned that verses in AWANA ages ago and I often recited it to get through the worst part of a workout. I also thought of the first chapter of Joshua. Since we decided to name our son Joshua, I've reread that chapter a few times. Here's a portion from verse 5 and 6 that I reminded myself of while I labored: As I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Be strong and of a good courage...

Even with all this at 6 PM I was in so much pain that I told myself the next time the nurse comes in I am going to talk to her about Staydol...I did not think I had it in me to go through this for 6 more hours (to get to midnight when the doc said the baby might be born). Well little did I know that there were 3 others getting close to deliver, I did not see my nurse at all. I kept focusing and squeezing Doug and my mom's hands, and I made it. Sometime between 6:30 and 6:45 I felt the urge to push. I went with it. I did not say anything to my husband or my mother because I figured we had 6 more hours to go this can't be anything. I finally turned to my mom and asked "When did you start to feel like you needed to push?" Her response was "At the end." I told her I felt like I needed to push. She remembered I still had panties on so I could walk around and told me I better take them off. She looked at them and saw blood which she knew meant I was about to deliver, she went out in the hallway and got the first nurse she could find.

The charge nurse, Peggy, checked me. She asked what number baby this is for me, I said "the first." She said something to the extent of "Well I'll be. You're fully dialated." She told me what station he was at too but I am going to have to ask my mom if she remembers what the nurse said~I asked mom today, I was at a +3 station, she could see the Joshua's hair at this point. The doctor was delivering someone else at that point so they tried to get me to wait to push. The nurse said she could deliver if it came to that. I basically ignored instructions not to push, I did what my body was telling me...really I had no choice in the matter.

Around 7, maybe 7:10 the doctor came running into the room. They broke down the bed and let me push. He said, "You have been proving me wrong all day!" I began to really push. Amy had just gotten there. The nurse kept making her do stuff because they were short staffed. When I was pushing she came over to help Doug hold my leg (He got a little leary when I was pushing and grabbed my thigh instead of my foot LOL). At 7:20, We met our son.

Happiest Moment of my Life

A good set of lungs!!

Weighing in at 6 pounds 11 ounces. 20.5 inches longWe're a family now!!
Grandma

Aunt AmyGreat-grandma and Uncle John




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