I jinxed myself.
Let me explain. I distinctly remember driving to work one January morning thinking about how blessed I am. In the last three years I foung a job that I love (especially lately because of the classes I was teaching at the time), I married my best friend, and we bought a house that had pretty much everything we wanted. That morning I was thinking how I could finally understand why some people did not have faith... they simply had so much they did not need it. I prayed that morning in the car that God would increase my faith. As much as I love being independent, I knew I needed to remember who is in charge.
These same thoughts came to me frequently on my drives to work. Somedays I even thought life cannot get much better than this! I knew someday we'd have children, but I was putting that off until I had reached more of my career goals. I was happy with my husband, my little house, my kitties, and my job. And then it all fell apart.
It began in March when NJ's new governor, Chris Christie, made a speech about the budget. It was going to hit education hard. We went through a series of board meetings for the budget and debates over how we'd cut about 4 million dollars from the budget. A RIF was inevitable. I knew I had a good reputation at my school. Many kids were positively impacted by what I do at the school. I was a highly involved teacher. It would take some pretty deep cuts to get rid of me! Well our department lost a program which cut 2 teachers, then guidance got 2 cuts, one of which had tenure in my department, for a total of three cuts. With three cuts, there went my beloved job.
When it rains it pours, boy did I ever find the truth in this statement. The same week I found out I lost my job our water heater broke, our sump pump died, Doug's head gasket on his car broke, and the waterpump on my car went. Then a couple weeks later the steering belt went out on my car while I was driving on the highway (somehow I managed to control the car and get home). After that the wheel mechanism on my rear wheel broke. Then our air conditioner which was only 1 year old broke, so much for buying a house with all new appliances so we wouldn't have to replace them right away! So much went wrong, there are probably some more minor things I forgot.
I was down in the dumps. I couldn't help but be a little angry with God, with the whole situation. What had we done to deserve this? We prayed before we bought the house, and now He was taking away our means to pay for it! I wouldn't be able to be at school to see some of my favorite students through their senior year! This wasn't right!
Somehow amidst all of this Doug and I decided I should stop taking birth control. I'd been having some trouble with ovarian cysts and the pill made me feel more on edge than usual. From what I had read there were 99 weeks worth of unemployment, so that was plenty of time to have a baby and stay home then find a job that could at least pay the mortgage and my student loans. The first month was a fail as far as getting pregnant, but we did add to our household, we decided to rent our extra bedroom and bathroom to help out with the bills. We wound up with a great, responsible, helpful roommate. It seemed that even though this was not ideal, it was workable. And then the second month of not trying to prevent a pregnancy was a success. Everything seemed ok for about a week.
Well first it was a governor, then it was Congress that messed with my plans. I found out on Friday (which was also the last day of school) that Congress stopped the extensions on unemployment, which means that unemployment was back down to 26 weeks. Well that was quite upsetting! 26 weeks would not even carry me to the end of my pregnancy! Who would hire someone who's 8 months pregnant? How would I pay for childcare if I was underemployed?
These questions really bothered me. I tried to ignore them. Then Sunday morning came, and there was a guest vocalist. She sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness." It was just the message I needed to hear! The word that helped me most were "All I have needed thy hand has provided." My entire life, everything I have needed (not wanted) had been provided, and that was not going to change. God is faithful. I went through that day with a renewed sense of hope.
The next moring I awoke around 8 AM and started doing some chores around the house. My phone rang and it was my boss. She asked "Are you sitting down?" She relayed to me the news that a guidance counselor decided to retire which meant the guidance counselor who had taken my position got to move back to guidance...WHICH MEANT THAT I GOT MY JOB BACK! I couldn't believe it at first, in fact sometimes I still don't. This meant I did not have to spend the summer waiting to hear if they would reinstate unemployment extenstions or applying and interviewing for jobs that I would only be able to work for 1/2 the year. I don't have to worry about how I would provide for my child, I wouldn't have to change insurance companies mid-pregnancy, Doug would be able to continue his education! As I stepped into the shower that morning, I belted out "Great is Thy Faithfulness." Those words had never rung more true to me!
All this being said, life does get better. Because all of this happened we're now expecting our first child. I am convinced this baby must be very special to take all this to get it here.
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