Just wanted to post an update. I saw this Willow Tree Angel when I was out getting a card for a party that I was supposed to go to. Anyway she is the Angel of Hope, I like the idea of it. I am not usually one for knick knacks (or dust collectors as I call them) but this one is a little inspiring. Of course I didn't buy it though, lol.Tomorrow I have to call the doctor again to schedule a follow up blood test. The nurse called Friday and left a message that my HCG levels were still too high (they were 21...which means if I took a home pregnancy test, it would still come up pregnant). They have to follow my levels until they are below 5. It's not something to be worried about, but just frustrating. Until my HCG is back to 0 my normal cycles will not resume. We have to wait 2 cycles to try again, so this just pushes back even farther the time we could actually have a child (yes I had it calculated when we would be due if I got my period exactly 4 weeks from my miscarriage assuming we were able to get pregnant the first time).
This whole experience has truly made me aware of how very much I want to be a mom. Before I liked the idea of becoming a parent, but now it is almost all I can think about. I don't know that I have ever felt such a strong desire before in my life. I guess it's like an awakening.
I remember driving to the Dr. every other day to check my falling HCG levels....just a sad drive every time. How can you deter your mind from it when you're on your way to an appointment that just...well, you know what I'm trying to say. Sigh.... my heart is so very heavy for you. I am praying for you! xoxo
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